I'm attempting to participate in Steena Holmes' logline blogfest at Chocolate Reality. A logline is basically a hook, an elevator pitch, the most important two sentences from a query. So here's my very first attempt at my young middle grade novel, Gleek, that I haven't even started writing yet (my hope is that it will inspire me to start writing it):
Gleek loves to eat, but nobody can tell by looking at him because he's as picky and skinny as his three pet snakes. Gleek enters the science fair with a strange food experiment that requires creativity and lots of math. But when he learns that Matso, the school mathematician who loves to eat and everybody can tell by looking at him, is entering too, Gleek has to find a way to make sure his experiment won't disappear before the judges get to his table. If Gleek doesn't win the science fair, then he loses out on his only chance to go to Snakes Alive Camp.
First attempt. Any suggestions?
Monday, November 1, 2010
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I grabbed your logline. If you have a newer version, please feel free to email me. steenah@telus.net
ReplyDeleteI left an award for you on my blog today. : )
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a fun book! I think your logline is a bit too long -- this is more of a pitch than a logline. Try to get it down to two lines using Holly Bodger's formula to see how it reads. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'd agree with trying to shorten your logline. Perhaps:
ReplyDeleteGleek enters the science fair with a strange food experiment that requires creativity and lots of math. But when he learns that Matso--the mathematician who loves to eat--is entering too, Gleek has to find a way to make sure his experiment won't disappear before the judges get to his table.
Hope this helps.
Rach
UPDATED PITCH: (NOT LOGLINE, HERE...)
ReplyDeleteFifth grader, Art Schaeffer, nicknamed Gleek because he can "snake-spit" further than anyone in the school, loves to eat, but nobody can tell by looking at him because he's as picky and as skinny as his pet snakes. Although Gleek is the treasurer of the Math and Science Club, he cringes at the prospect of having to enter the upcoming Science Fair because he doesn't like reading very much and absolutely hates writing (and spelling), all of which would be required to create a winning entry.
Enter Cody Boggs, nicknamed Matso because he's the smartest math whiz in the school, loves to eat and everybody can tell by looking at him because he'll eat anything. When Matso enters the fair with a strange food experiment, Gleek becomes suspicious and discovers Matso breaking lots of rules.
Gleek wants to report Matso anonymously, but doesn't know how to submit an article to the school paper, much less how to write one. The closer Gleek gets to finding out Matso's secrets causes him to fear for his safety. Will Gleek find out a way to expose Matso before the judges of the Science Fair award the prizes? And will he do so with his limbs still intact?