How to Write Like a Professional

How to Write Like a Professional
6 Surprising Mistakes That Make Writers Look Like Amateurs... and How to Avoid Them

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Janelle in the Candy Shop

Janelle ran through the candy shop with her mother chasing her, but not fast enough to catch her.
"Mom, can I get a bubble gum lollipop, too?  And a chocolate one?  And a cherry one?"


  1. Janelle's words trailed behind her. Her mom stopped Janelle right in front of the chocolate display. "Janelle, you already have two lollipops. I think that's plenty. Now, let's go."

    But Janelle stared like a frog wanting flies at the variety of chocolate arranged before her. "Mom, can I please have just one little chocolate if I..."

  2. promise to do the dishes and clean my room for a whole month?"

    Already late for an appointment, Janelle's mom reluctantly agreed to the hastily made bargain. Little did Janelle know, though, that the lollipop she selected was no ordinary lollipop. It happened to be a magic lollipop. Hidden in the hollow center was...

  3. an entire universe, full of swirling galaxies and stars.
    It wasn't until Janelle was alone in her room that she took out the chocolate lollipop and unwrapped it. As the paper slid away from the glossy surface, she felt the room start to...

  4. ...expand. She felt smaller, as light as a dust mite. Janelle walked on the chocolate lollipop's white stick until she reached the base of the candy. Pretty soon, the master of the candy universe appeared to her and said...

  5. "Welcome, my dear daughter. We've been waiting so long for this day to finally come."

    Janelle's surprise quickly turned to fear as she began to swirl and sway like the leaves of a palm tree in a hurricane. An invisible force gently lifted her off of the ground, and a light as bright as the sun emanated from her body. For the average human's eyes, it would've been blinding. But the king just smiled on in amazement.
    A warmth and sense of peace slowly started to grow just beneath the surface of Janelle's skin, and then quickly spread to her heart. It felt as if she'd gone to the beach and lingered in the sun's sometimes brutal embrace, for just a bit too long. Her fear simply melted away, like a popsicle that'd been left outside in the summer heat for far too long.

    "At last.........

  6. ..."At last," the master of the candy universe spoke calmly to her. "We've been waiting for just the right little girl to find us, so that we could name her our Ultimate Candy Princess." He paused a moment, then snapped his fingers. Immediately a little tiny person, only about 4 inches high--or whatever size that you would use if you're inside a chocolate lollipop--appeared with something in its hands...

  7. Janelle looked closely, squinting to see it. There, alive and vibrant, was a wee little heart. "Is it cinnamon?" Janelle asked hopefully.
    "You don't eat it!" exclaimed the tiny person. "This is yours and if you use it in the right way you can change the world. Carefully take it now and ... "

  8. ...kiss it tenderly. Once you've blessed it, carefully carry it over and place it in the crystal cloud and blow. When you're done, watch it float on out across the worlds seeding love and sweets for each new world.

    Janelle did as was expects and as she took that final breath to deliver the crystal cloud to all the destinations, she sighed to herself and thought...

  9. ..."I wish my mom could see this. She's never going to believe this." She blew the crystal candy cloud with its red heart, then she slowly grew back to her normal size. Sitting on her bed, she lay down and took a nap. When she awoke, she found a handful of red hot cinnamon hearts on top of the lollipop wrapper. Wow! Nobody would ever believe that she had been crowned the Ultimate Candy Princess.

    The End.


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